I hate looking for work. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. I should get paid to look for work. HA. In a perfect world, that's what my job would be. Hell, I have tons of experience. Sigh...
Every year or so, my husband decides that it might be better for us if I got a job. Why? I don't know. He likes it when I stay home, take care of the house, yard, kid, all three dogs, three cats, and God know what else that comes up. But usually around the holidays he asked me if I might want to find a two day a week thing. I guess to pay for the X-mas presents or something. Anyway, with all my experience of filling out job applications, I have compiled a list of things NOT to put on an application.
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes. Some.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Hawaii with a fabulously wealthy stud who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Leo with Libra rising.
*These are the lessons learned only from time. Sigh...I hate looking for work.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Yet Again, People Are Trying To Profit From a Disaster
It amazes me the sneaky and sometimes vicious things some will do to make money at the expense of others. Read the Washington Post article and you will see what I mean.
From registering domain names with the words "Rita" or Hurricane relief" in them, to generate traffic, to trying to auction off a burnt piece of toast with the hurricane symbol on it on eBay. Give me a break.
As if the feds don't have better things to do than monitoring the scum that attempt to make money from tragedies such as these. But of course that doesn't occur to them. All these "people" worry about is making a buck. They probably figure that it is not affecting them, since they live in the north or someplace no where near the Gulf coast.
I'd like to know how they would feel if a disaster hit their area or their house and property. Do you think they would describe it as "Free Enterprise" when some asshole tries to profit from their suffering? I think not. And of course the profitting would be disguised as a way to help victims.
So to everyone out there that really wants to help: Stick with donating to those organizations you know you can trust, like the Red Cross or The Humane Society. And stay away from anything you don't recognize.
And if you do come across a suspicious website or other publication advertising relief or money in any way to the latest disasters, report them to The Internet Fraud Complaint Center. They are in partnership with the FBI. Let's get them suckers!
From registering domain names with the words "Rita" or Hurricane relief" in them, to generate traffic, to trying to auction off a burnt piece of toast with the hurricane symbol on it on eBay. Give me a break.
As if the feds don't have better things to do than monitoring the scum that attempt to make money from tragedies such as these. But of course that doesn't occur to them. All these "people" worry about is making a buck. They probably figure that it is not affecting them, since they live in the north or someplace no where near the Gulf coast.
I'd like to know how they would feel if a disaster hit their area or their house and property. Do you think they would describe it as "Free Enterprise" when some asshole tries to profit from their suffering? I think not. And of course the profitting would be disguised as a way to help victims.
So to everyone out there that really wants to help: Stick with donating to those organizations you know you can trust, like the Red Cross or The Humane Society. And stay away from anything you don't recognize.
And if you do come across a suspicious website or other publication advertising relief or money in any way to the latest disasters, report them to The Internet Fraud Complaint Center. They are in partnership with the FBI. Let's get them suckers!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Just Cool Stuff
I was surfing around this morning and got a good laugh. Of course my sense of humor might be a little off, but too bad. Anyway, I thought I would share something I found.
Check out the site FakeCrap.com There might be fake crap there if you go by the name but my personal favorite is the Redneck Horn. If you just want to listen to what comes outta this thing go here.
I so want one of these. But then again, I think I would have to figure out a way to hook it up to a bullhorn or loudspeaker to come out of the front of my truck. It's just not worth it if the butt head you dealing with can't hear it.
Check out the site FakeCrap.com There might be fake crap there if you go by the name but my personal favorite is the Redneck Horn. If you just want to listen to what comes outta this thing go here.
I so want one of these. But then again, I think I would have to figure out a way to hook it up to a bullhorn or loudspeaker to come out of the front of my truck. It's just not worth it if the butt head you dealing with can't hear it.
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