We Will Never Starve...

Every time my husband goes to the store for milk or "just one thing", he comes home with two bags of crap.

A while back I got him into coupon clipping, and bargain shopping. I stockpile certain things that go on sale, like toothbrushes, toothpaste, TP; you know stuff you use everyday. He has taken it to a whole new level.

The other day I decided to go through my small food cupboard in the kitchen. Most of the dry goods that we have are in my larger pantry in the back of the house. When the husband comes home from the store he shoves everything in that tiny cupboard because he is too lazy to walk the twenty feet to the pantry.

And when I say "store", I mean the Grocery Outlet Store. Otherwise known in certain circles as The Rainbow Food Store (They have a giant rainbow on their sign for some reason, not sure why. As far as I know it's not an "Only Gay"store.), a.k.a. The Dented Can Store (I believe this term was adopted from those who had once lived in the Midwest.), and the latest name I have heard for it: the Food Reject Store. It's a regular grocery store, they just get their inventory at rock bottom prices from other stores that need to move their inventory quickly and then the savings are passed on to us. Pretty cool most of the time. Although I will advise against buying hair color there. Just trust me on this. Moving along....

In this tiny cupboard in my kitchen I found three jars of peanut butter, 17 yes 17 packages of Mac & cheese, 10 things of Raman, and among other things four bottles of spicy wing sauce. I don't remember if I have ever cooked wings of any kind in this house in the ten years we have lived here. Apparently they were 2/$1.

But the really odd thing is that my husband seems to have a certain fascination with little cans of tomato paste. Seriously. I think I counted 11 cans. Just weird.

So he is as of yesterday grounded from the Dented Can Store. He can only go when I am with him. I am just not up to finding a tomato paste rehab center for him, so I am trying to ween him off.

Pray for us.

Seriously? Seriously.

As you noticed today I titled my post "Seriously". I think you'll figure it out.

I have not posted in a while for the simple reason that I didn't want to post depressing, sad, pissed off things all the time. So this one is an effort let me tell ya. And I probably wont succeed in the long run.

I found out a few months back that I have MS. Seriously?

My doctor called me and told me while I was at work. Seriously?

Within a few months it progressed. Seriously.

I requested half days at work. They put me on unpaid leave until they "mulled it over". Seriously?

They finally (after two weeks) decided that it was "ridiculous", that I not work while they "mull" since my doc says it's OK. Seriously? Seriously.

While I was gone, one of my bosses got hit by a drunk driver. Seriously.

Also while I was gone, one of my co-worker's homes was broken into and trashed while she was at work. Seriously?

It is completely fucked up that a homeless, meth head, thieving asshole broke into my friends home...one that she just bought all on her own, while she was at work, barely making over minimum wage, but at least it was an honest wage. Seriously. Fuckers.

While I was on "leave", I decided to re-paint the kitchen. And throw out a bunch of stuff. In order to do this I had to clean first. Seriously. Ugh.

I discovered that my ceiling was not beige. Or even off white. It was white. Seriously.

I could of planted a garden in the dust from the top of my fridge. A little fertilizer and I could have lettuce! Seriously.

It has taken me 5 days to do the kitchen, even with my sister Shannon helping me the first day. Apparently four hours is enough for me a day. And why did I choose colors that take several coats each? Seriously.

Every morning when my husband awoke, he says "kitchen is looking good.." Then sits down at the computer and plays World of Warcraft for a few hours. Seriously?

I found out that my foster dog Morty possibly has mange. Seriously?

It is treatable and I can prevent my other dogs from getting it. Seriously.

I give Morty a bath every day in a Rubbermaid tub that I sit on top of my washing machine, after I fill it up using a little hose I hook up to my washing machine spigot, because I do not have a tub. Seriously.

I found a home remedy using Borax and Hydrogen peroxide for his bath. Seriously.

My other foster JR, is the most retarded dog ever. In the house. Seriously.

JR jumps up on the counter and goes through my mail. He like the taste of the glue on the envelopes from the bills. It's the only mail he eats. Seriously.

JR will eat anything that is on the counter. As long as it's not made out of metal. Seriously.

JR is the most trainable dog ever. Seriously?

JR obeys the first time you say, "crate" (goes into crate and lays down), he instantly obeys, "come, stay, lay down, heel, drop, and quit eating the cat!" Seriously.

I find myself saying "quit eating the cat, Retardo!" to JR, more than I tell my husband I love him. Bummer, but seriously.

My son, decided to go camping in 28 degree weather the night after I spent 75 bucks paying for his Dr. and prescriptions for his cold/lung issue. Seriously?

I told him it was a bad idea; that he was going to freeze. They ended up sleeping in the car. BWHAHAHAHA!!! Seriously.

My son should listen to his mother. Seriously.

My husband has never, ever taken the dogs (4) to the dog park by himself. Seriously.

I do it two to three times a week. All of them. Yes, me. The chick with MS. Four dogs over the weight of 70. Seriously.

I asked the husband today while I was out running errands, to take them to the dog park, and he said, I was going to wait until you got home." I said "why?" He said, "It's too hard by myself." Seriously?

When I got home I asked him if he took them to the dog park...he said yes. Disturbingly, I had to do a quick eyeball on the dogs to see how tired they were, before I believed him. Sad, I know, but in ten years this man has NEVER taken them to the dog park by himself. Seriously.

Anyway...I am thinking I could probably go on forever, but I won't.

Stupid Nutria

I shot this video when I went to check the mail. It was eating my tulips. I seriously hate these things. They eat my garden before it even has a chance to grow. My friend Corbin comes over sometimes and shoots them for me. I couldn't figure out why these guys were so far from the water. Well, simple. It lives in my drainage ditch/compost. Come and get it Corbin!