Monday, July 17, 2006

Da Da Da DAhhhh, Super-Kimberly!!!


I had to put this picture in. This is me about a thousand years, 130 dye jobs and 20 pounds ago. I do believe I was on a "trip" with Sonja at the time in her mom's Maverick. I recall we had no FM on the radio at the time, so we listened to a lot of weird shit on AM. And yes, my feet really are that big. Shut up.

So tomorrow is the big day. What day, you ask? The day when my best friend Sonja and I do something stupid for my birthday. There is actually two days a year we do this; her birthday (December) and mine. Tomorrow is not actually my birthday by the way, just in case anyone wants to wish me a good one. It's in a couple weeks, but I will be out of state at my husband's family reunion on my actual birthday. Whoop-ee! I sooo can't wait.

So anyway, when she mentioned going and doing something tomorrow I had thought she just meant lunch, but then she said, "you know, for your birthday." Oh yeahhhh, I had actually forgotten about it. The big Double Three. Dos Tres. (Look Sonja! Spanish! Aren't you proud?) Anyway, this should be interesting.

Looking back on birthday expeditions. Yes, I use the word expedition because that is what this is. A search for something. What, we are not sure, but we know it when we find it. Then the expedition turns into a trip.

Which then turns into a holiday, then you name it, that's what we can call it: errand (to pick up our youth where we left off), excursion (a brief trip to insanity), flight (from whatever is chasing us, hopefully not a cougar this time...), hop (used to, can't anymore; too old), jaunt (makes me think of some weird British guy walking up a hill with a cane and a spring in his step), outing (of our minds), drive (which way, left or right? Flip a coin.), ride (white knuckled usually, screaming also but in a fun way, watch those dang corners!), spin (done that too, almost threw up); odyssey (that might be the name for it this year), progress (God, I hope so.), quest (for inner youth? Or just the perfect margarita?), safari (Now wouldn't that be cool?)


Anyway, I told my husband that Sonja and I are taking off tomorrow for the bi-annual birthday foray thing. Not even looking up from his paper, he just said "Ok." Hmm? Usually he is way more curious than that. Quizzing me about what we are going to do, this and that. I guess he's learned the hard way. We never know what we are going to do until we do it. It's more fun that way. Plus, it might be because the last time he asked us how our trip was when we got back, I think we just started laughing like idiots. We never did give him a straight answer.

Wish us luck and fun in our adventure, and I'll let you know if we need bail money. Ta ta for now...

Friday, July 14, 2006

Ever wonder...

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who is general failure and why is he reading my disk?

The light went out, but where did it go?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. Dumb ass.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? BWAHAHAHA!

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? (wink)

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Mmm?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?


Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer ?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Bitch.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? Hee hee.

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left. Amen.