Wouldn't Two of Me Be Great?

I want a clone. That would be so cool. Somebody to hang around with when I don't feel like being bothered with anybody but myself. Somebody that I could relate to, who'd always love me no matter what. Like a sister, but with out any of the crap that sometimes goes along with siblings. Boy, we'd get along great, Clononia and me. That's what I'm gonna name her, Clononia.

What a great alibi she'd make. Or a witness. "Your Honor, that wasn't me driving that truck. I was miles away. At home. Alone. Ask Clononia."

Some say that cloning is a sin. But where's the sin in having your very own "occational" decoy if necessary? For protection. The Lord helps those who help themselves. I'd be helping myself two times over. What if some crazy person started stalking me? Well, I would just send out Clononia like bait. That's what I would do. Then I could do whatever I wanted without worrying about being bothered. I wouldn't even tell anybody I had a clone. I could literally be in two places at once.

Plus, if anything ever went wrong with me physically, like with my kidneys, heart or liver, I'd have all those parts available. Sure, some people think mankind would create great sins by only using our clones to harvest new body parts. To that I have two rebuttal comments.

1. "Not me. Clononia and I would be great friends. I could never do that."
2. "And?"

A clone would be like an organ savings account. If my liver was ever overdrawn, I would just deposit another one from my account. So what is up with the research and development of clone research? I want my clone. If I find out that the sheep was just another sheep and not a clone, (because we all know that they all look alike) I'm gonna be pissed.

(Interesting read)

Did That Kid Just Order A Double Martini?

I hate it when people take their children where they have absolutely no business being. I don't necessarily hate children. I have one of my own. Let me repeat. One. I found out what one half of me is like; I'm semi-happy with the result (my contribution), so I stopped having them. I really didn't need a whole passle of them. Or whatever you call of large group of kids; is it a gaggle? Anyway, I don't really enjoy being around other peoples kids, but I love mine 99.9 % of the time.

The other day I was at a restaurant that had a bar attached to it. I was sitting at the bar eating my late lunch, and this guy walks over to my section, I guess he had just had lunch with his kid. For some reason they both headed over to the bar. This little kid was running all over the bar, just knocking crap over, playing in between the bar stools. It was really starting to irk me. The whole main reason why I sit in the bar section to begin with, is so I don't have to endure other people's children. You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine.

Me: Um, excuse me but, he can't be in here.

The dad: He has every right to be here.

Me: Uh, no he doesn't. This is a bar, you know? For adults? You can't bring him in here. That's just plain rude. I don't go out to a playground and drink. Get it?

The dad: (pause) Good point.

He finally left. Jeesh. I should not of had to explain this too him. Am I the only one this has happened to? And is it just me, or are the people who work at these types of places (Applebee's, Chili's, etc.) stupid? I have seen this happen more than once, and the establishment never says a thing. Why do they call it the "bar seating area", if they are going to let anyone sit there?