Friday, December 02, 2005

Do They Make Slings For Your Brain?

My brain hurts. I think I pulled a muscle in it. Is that really possible, I wonder? Ow, damn I did it again.

A few days ago my husband and I got new cell phones. We have had the same phones for about three years or so, and we were quite used to them, as crappy as they were. But it was time. When they arrived I was so excited. My plan was to get them out of the boxes, study the directions, and have everything ready for me to show my superior intellect to my husband when he awoke. HA! And of course my plan, as always, went awry.

My husband woke up before I even had them out of the boxes. To give some a small clue, trying to do anything like this with him, is like trying to put together that Christmas bicycle with a six year old "helping". ARGH! Gotta love him, though.

Anyway, we soon discovered that you pretty much have to have been through some kind of NASA/MENSA training camp to figure these things out. Oh well, we're getting there though.

So, as if my tired brain didn't have enough to deal with, I started my motorcycle riding class. I have always wanted to have a motorcycle. Since, well, forever. But it's a little hard to test drive that bike, if you have no idea how to ride one.

Last night was my first class. It's a pretty cool thing for the most part. Basically you take this course, which involves three days of equal parts classroom and actually riding the motorcycles. They provide the bikes and helmets and stuff.

Last night was three hours of classroom. They covered the basics. Ugh. I had no idea you had to be so coordinated to ride a motorcycle. Let's just say it is a little daunting. Without going into much detail, there are about twenty zillion things you have to do at any given time, involving all of your fingers and toes. No kidding. When I was listening to the instructions on how we have to actually shift these things, my arm was immediately raised to ask the question, if they make automatic bikes. (I drive a stick-shift, but this is a little more complicated than that, trust me.)

So today, I am studying the book a little more. It has all these little diagrams of where the clutch is, and brakes and other little necessary doo-dads. Tomorrow is the first four hours of on-the-bike-training, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to make sure I don't get the clutch confused with the brake. My brain throbs just thinking about it. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just Wondering...

Why do men still wear ties? It's a waste of cloth and the time it takes to tie one. I would think it would be kinda like tieing a noose around your neck. Just wondering.

Why do clothing makers design clothing with fake pockets? You put on your clothes, and later in the day you forget that the pockets are just a seam sewn in, and break a nail trying to get you hand in there for whatever reason. Just wondering.

Why is it that when you decide you're bored with playing pinball, you win a free game? Just wondering.

Why is it that women are routinely examined for chlamydia when they go to the doctors, when it is men who are the carriers of this highly contagious, dangerous disease? When will physicians recognize that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of prescription antibiotics? When? Just wondering.

Why do you always win at pool, or get that "eight ball break" when no one is watching? Just wondering.

Why is it that you always get a crappy song stuck in your head, but you can never remember the words to your favorite song? Just wondering.

Why do people think that they are invisible in their cars? They think that no one can see them pick their nose, or scream at their kids, and when they catch you looking, they give you a look like you totally invaded their privacy. Just wondering.

When you're in a hurry, why is the line at the store 18 miles long, but when you have all the time in the world, there is no one there but you? Just wondering.

Why is it when you need help with something, no one offers it, but when you don't need any help, everyone wants to lend a hand? Just wondering.

Why does a country's leader try to take full command, but when things go wrong, they blame it on everyone else? Just wondering.

Why do people try to return things at a store, and when they don't have a receipt, they are surprised that they can't get their money back? DUMB.

Why do some people keep having babies that they can't take care of? They are already on some kind of welfare, and get free medical. Why don't they take advantage of the free medical and get their tubes tied?

Why is it OK to have a Black Entertainment Television (BET) channel, but not a White Entertainment Television? Just wondering.

Why do people ignore the laws of gravity, when they are driving behind you? When I am stopped on a hill, still going up, I am bound to roll backwards a little when I release the brake pedal. So why do they have to get as close as possible to my rear bumper? Just wondering.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The time of year is here. With Thanksgiving over, we can no longer pretend that it's not getting ever closer to Christmas. Sigh...

I have done absolutely no Christmas shopping at all. My sister has been showing off all the presents she got every one and has them stashed everywhere. I haven't even thought about what to get my kid, or my husband, let alone the multitudes of family members that I will see on Christmas Eve, at my mom's house.

Last year, I worked at Target at this time. I knew what was going to be the best sales and so on. I had everything bought and wrapped before the weekend after Thanksgiving was done. I think this year, though I am going to see how long I can go without buying anything until the last minute. Get in on the last minute deals. Hey at least I can pretend that I have a plan.

But I still have to call my sister and get the master list. I always forget someone, and she never does. Hey, I have five brothers and two sisters and they all have kids. I also have my husband's two brothers, sister, parents, and their spouses. Something like 50 people or something total.

Ok, I'm done whining now. I guess I'll at least start making that list. That's something, right?