Saturday, October 22, 2005

Lost in Translation

My husband is a bartender, and he understands this stuff more than I. So I asked him to help me translate stuff I overheard the other night. I thought it would make for a good laugh. I was right.

"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.

"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

"I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
--You stuck up little -----, too good for your old friends??

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
--I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
--If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

"I don't feel well, let's go home."
(female)--You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male)--I'm horny.

"I've had like 10 beers already."
--I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

"Who's got the next round?"
--I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

"Excuse Me." (male to male)
--Get the f--- out of the way.

Any of these sound familiar? HA!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Will the Vikings Ever Grow Up?

I don't think I have ever been so disgusted with The Minnesota Vikings in my life. As a life long fan, being originally from Minnesota I am just shaking my head over the "latest". As in "Hey Vikes fan! Have you heard the latest?". Yeah, yeah I've heard.

Apparently during there last bye week party, some of the player decided to have strippers and/or hookers present. That people, is the extent of it in my opinion. But of course, then the media has to come in.

Is it so hard for these guys to realize that they shouldn't do this kinda stuff when it is a function that is widely covered by the media? Hell, they shouldn't do it period. But they are adults, and should be able to do whatever they want as long as it's legal, right? Well, unfortunately we live in a society that scrutinizes every little thing public figures do. Especially when you are cast as a role model for kids.

My son expressed a desire to play in the NFL once. Because he wants to show that he's a good enough player and of course for the moolah. But I'm curious if I'm going to soon hear that he wants to play in the NFL so he can get hookers and have sex parties? Lord help me, if it comes to that.

It's bad enough that the Minnesota Vikings are showing that they can barely play a decent game of football with a 1 - 4 record so far this season, but now they are also proving that they are nothing but a bunch of immature boys.

I never thought the day would come when I was embarrassed to show my Purple Pride. But alas yesterday during game day was it.