Sunday, June 17, 2007

Counting the days...

I'll tell you something about traveling by yourself that my husband has recently learned; or so he tells me: It's ultimately very healthy for your relationship.

When you first learn that one of you has to go away, you're actually both looking forward to it, but neither of you wants to admit it. So you both pretend you are going to be miserable.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm really going to miss you."

Again, it's a competition.

"I'm the one unable to live without you."

"No, I'm totally unable to live without you, I swear."

The truth is, one of you is thrilled to be going somewhere, and the other can't wait to have the house to themselves. Then, you get to where you are going, and you find that you really do miss each other. If for no other reason, you forgot how to be alone.

Me: "Babe, where are my glasses? . . . Babe? . . . Oh, right you're in Muncie. . . I'll just. . . find them myself. That's what I used to do, sure. . . "

My husband was so excited to be going home, but now he's staying in a hotel in the town where the wedding is being held. He was more comfortable at his mom's I think.

"You wouldn't believe the hotel I'm stuck in. I wish you were here."

"To see the cheesy hotel?"


Or he just needs to hear a sane voice. Have you ever called from a family get together like the one he's at, that your partner weaseled out of? (weaseled: meaning "had to work" in this case)

"Hi--I'm going OUT OF MY MIND."

"It's only for four more days."

"I won't make it, you hear me? I WON'T."

Then he starts pining for home, like a child.

"How's the house?"

"What do you mean, "How's the house?' "

"What does everything look like?"

"Since you left?"


"It's all different. I repainted again, knocked down the bathroom wall, your "man-room" is gone. No one really knows how that happened."

"How are the dogs?"


"Do they miss me?"

"Been crying since you left."


"Seriously? They have no idea you left. Thinks you are in the shower or sleeping. . . Would you like to know how I am?"

"Yes, yes, I was just going ask. I swear--that was my next question. How are you?"