Eek! Eek! The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Sorry people for not writing lately, but boy oh boy has it been an interesting few days. I'm gonna make this a short one, for I have tons to do, and unfortunately none of it is fun.

We have been having massive rain for the last few days, in fact we received over two inches yesterday alone. On Sunday, my bathroom ceiling collapsed due to the leak that we have had for over four years that our landlord pretty much ignored. So you can imagine how much fun we've been having.

The next day the truck started having issues, so we were driving around a Chevy Classic loaner car with big blue Hertz magnets on the side announcing to everyone who read it that yes, in fact it is a loaner car. Ugly and sad. Two days. Guess what? The issues of course magically disappeared when the mechanic drove it for two days. Sigh... $82 bucks wasted.

Now we are off to parent teacher conferences, mortgage broker interviews (I'm getting the heck outta this house), haircuts and if I find the time make dinner later. Enjoy your days...

Do You Remember Reading Buddies?

As a couple there is something to be said about reading the newspaper together. First of all, for some reason, whatever section the other person is reading always looks more interesting than the one you're reading. Even if you've already read it, you still want to read it again.

"I didn't realize how good that travel section looked til I saw you thumbing through it like that. What is that picture there--Portugal?"

I love the fact that we go through the real estate section of every Sunday paper and look at pictures of places that we have no intention or possibility of ever buying, but we still check for price fluctuations.

"Oh look at this--that lakefront property just went down to five bazillion, as oppposed to the unreasonable six-two they were asking last month. They're obviously weakening."

Some things in the paper are better not to share. But you don't know which ones they are until it's too late. My husband does this a lot.

He's reading an article about this woman in Houston who was fired seemingly unfairly, from a very good job. He's reading, and quietly, to himself, he goes, "Hmm...tsk...geez."

I go, "What?"

"Hm? Oh nothing, just this article. This woman, in Houston she had a great job, and they let her go because they discovered that years ago she was a prostitute...just kind of sad."

I say the required, "Hmm...tsk...geez."

Then about five minutes go by and for some reason it's stuck in my head. And looking at him like it's his fault, "What is it with prostitutes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the whole thing with prostututes and men--I just don't get it."

Now see, when you are couple, each person represents their gender. You are the flag bearer for the whole team. And if any member of your team, anywhere in the world, past or present, does anything to offend, you have to answer for it. (Woman Law)

"No it has nothing to do with prostitutes, Babe, I'm just saying, it's kinda sad...You know, here's a woman, got her life together and everything...and...then...hey...uh...what's that picture there, Portugal?" Then he tried to get me to read the Travel section together and tries to get off the whole Houston thing.

But there are after shocks. (Woman Law)

Hours later, we're eating, and I turned to him, "Are you chewing loudly?"

"No."

"Well, you're bugging me."

So, surprisingly he figures out my womanly thought process: eating chicken, BBQ sauce, Texas--"The prostitute lady? That's what you're upset about?"

I say, "I just don't get it."

Ah,well the complexity of our thought process is not for man to figure out. It's there job to just deal with it.

Sew, a needle pulling thread...La, a note to follow so...

I, yes, I am amazing. I never knew that it was actually possible to amaze myself, but I have. Brace yourselves people but I have some fantastic news. Last night...I sewed. On a sewing machine. Yes, yes I know. Hard to believe isn't it? Ok, so what if what I made might of turned out to look like it was made for a Cabbage Patch Doll instead of my husband, but we'll get to that later.

Every year I commit myself to doing the Halloween costumes for my husband and myself. I love this day. Just the creativity of finding a unique costume idea, putting it together and hopefully having it actually work is just too cool for words. But usually I don't have to actually sew anything. Oh, it might involve some glue (Magic Stitch is my very best friend), and maybe a little bit of hand-stitching, safety pins and/or staples, but never actual machine sewing on my part.

Usually my thought process is to go to the second hand stores, Goodwill or what have you, and walk around getting ideas. Then I buy the items, mesh them together and voila'! I now have a Halloween costume. Oh, but not this year. This year, the same year I decided to go back to work out side the home, the year that it seems as if I have absolutely no time, ever; is the year that I could only find two pieces of our costumes already made. And it's not like I can just change costume ideas willy nilly. (My husband has a huge mustache that I have to incorporate into the costume every year. Let's just say that he would not make a very good Raggedy Andy or whatever. But he has in the past been a leprechaun, werewolf, Yosemite Sam, and a Genie, that I can recall.) So anyway, I waited until the last minute, and called my mom two days ago to see if she wanted to help me (ie; do it for me) sew the stuff together.

For some unforeseen reason, I cannot sew on a sewing machine to save my life. The whole thread wrapping around this and that thinga-ma-gingy deal, just frustrates me. And don't get me started on the bobbin thing. I think I was frightened by a sewing machine as a child or something. My other two sisters can sew. They actually own sewing machines that they actually use. I own one too. It's an antique and I like to look at it. But that's about it.

So, my mom was excited about the whole thing, and was like, "no problem." I had no pattern, just an idea. But she whips out a pattern for a 1970's woman's bathrobe and says, "this should work with a little changing." Okaaayyy. I left it up to her.

Well she got my costume done. Thank God. It was the most difficult. But her hands were hurting and I said don't worry about it, I'll do it. What the hell was I thinking? I'll do it? I'll do it? Did I just magically turn into Suzy freakin' Homemaker? When did I learn how to sew? Ugh.

So then I have to work. While at work my friend Sonja shows up with her sewing machine. I told her on the phone that I CAN'T SEW, but she insisted. I believe her exact words were, "No Kim, you don't understand. This is practically a Mickey-Mouse-Easy-Bake-Oven kind of sewing machine. Just point and shoot kinda thing. Trust me, if I can make curtains on this, you can sew with it." Ok, so she brings it over.

It was a cute little thing. No bigger than a shoe box. The picture above is the actual size. There is something about something being small to take some of the fear away. Kinda like a baby lion or wolf. Cute when small, but I don't want to mess with it when it gets bigger.

After I got off work at 9 pm, I went to work on my husbands costume. I eyeballed the measurements. (you mean I shoulda used a tape measure?) And cut and sewed and snipped and pinned and ironed and unpinned. I did it. I made a tunic. Kinda. So it's longer on one side than the other. I was distracted. I didn't have a good work surface area. I was on top of my washing machine with the cats meowing at me the whole time because that is where they eat and I hadn't fed them yet. I hate those cats.

So by midnight, I had the finished product. A slightly askew, grass green tunic, with a gold lapel. What was supposed to be a top for a samurai costume, ended up looking more like something Liberace would go ga-ga over in a catalog. But my husband, bless his heart, said, "add the swords and daggers and instant samurai." Good thing he's not going into a contest and just going into work. Sigh...