Again I am amazed over and over again....

This world we live in is quickly becoming paperless when it comes to money. We get our paychecks deposited electronically, then we pay our bills on line. We make our day to day purchases with our debit cards. Or we pay by credit, which in turn we pay electronically anyway. Even people with no jobs or low paying and living on some kind of assistance get their government money/food stamps via electronic transfer. We would be screwed if someday something happened that kept us from our electronic "money".

Well, I got to witness first hand that very thing, although on a much smaller scale and with less catastrophic results at my work on Friday and Saturday.

Without going into a big spiel on class distinction, I need to say that the customers that come into my store and that live in the neighborhood are mostly a bit well to do. If I were to guess, I would say that about 90% of them pay for their groceries or whatever with credit/debit cards and never carry more than a few dollars cash.

Around 2:30 pm on Friday all of a sudden our credit/debit machines stopped working. Completely without warning. Also our check machine (the thingee that sucks your check in to see if you are who you say you are) stopped doing it's thing. Oh goody.

We made announcements over the PA system about the problem. We were excepting checks even though we couldn't check any info on them, and we of course, would gladly take your cash. We also put signs up in front of both doors as you would walk in. Big signs. Here is what happened.

• Some people just left their carts full of groceries (even perishable items) in the isles and walked out.
• Some continued to shop and when they got to the checkout stand, asked if they could write us an IOU, since they are regulars. (Isn't that a check?) And were pissed that "we" had wasted "their" time.
• I had a guy that came to my throne...eh hem, I mean the "express line" and wanted to use his debit card to get cash back on his tiny purchase so he could pay us cash for the rest of his groceries. Uh, no. What part of, "Machines not working AT ALL", do you not understand?
• I watched people walk in the door, stop, look right at the sign, shop for 20-30 minutes (we were doing the announcements every ten) then be surprised/angry/upset that we couldn't take their cards as payment.

Every day I work here I think to myself that this is a great place to study human behavior. Every day I get surprised, dumbfounded or am proven right. Sometimes I feel I don't even have the right words to do justice to what I see and hear everyday.

*Little side note: Often our customers are new age/hippy, save the planet/green people and use not only their own canvas shopping bags made from recycled materials and/or hemp, but also use their own containers for bulk items such as flour, sugar or pasta. (We also carry bulk shampoo and conditioner which I think is pretty cool.) We weigh the container to get the tared weight before it's filled so you don't get charged for the weight of the container.

Scene: Well-to-do thirty something man, sporting very expensive bike helmet/rain gear/backpack. Very in shape, granola eater type. Walks up to my line with just a plastic Tupperware type container.

Me: "Hello, how are you doing today?"

Granola-Eater: "Fine thanks."

He hands me his container. It's filled with raisins. I note that the tare is already written on it with black Sharpie marker. I go through all the appropriate cashier motions.

Me: "That will me $6.07. Will that be debit or credit?"

Granola-Eater: With a look of sudden dismay, "I forgot my wallet. Um, what do we do?"

Me: "Well you could leave it here, and you could come right back with your wallet.

He shakes his head to indicate that that is not acceptable. Apparently he's afraid I'm going to mess with his raisins.

Me: "OK, then I can give you your container back, but I have to throw the raisins away since they were in your personal container, and you can come back later. "

Granola-Eater: "OK." He shrugs and hands me his container. I toss the contents in the trash because I have to. He walks away without a care in the world.

My comment is this: What a self absorbed, wannabe, save the planet, granola, raisin-wasting ass hole! (Said with a snotty, nose in the air tone: "I'm going to save the planet. I recycle. I use tote bags instead of plastic or paper. I ride my bike instead of drive. I reuse my own container for my raisins so I make my ecological footprint smaller.") Don't mind the hungry people that would of appreciated those raisins (or even a fraction of them) that you so carelessly tossed in the trash without being paid for. Fucker.

Instructions are your friends....

(Referring to the payment terminal)

Customer: “It’s not working. Whats wrong with it?”

Me: “What does it say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card’.”

Me: “Well, then slide your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(She slides her card. It works.)

Customer: “Hey it worked!”

Customer, staring at credit card machine: “I don’t know what to do. What does it want me to do?”

Me: “What does the screen say?”

Customer: “Press the green button.”

Me: “Then…well…maybe you should press that green button there.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Paper or Plastic? Well...its not really plastic its made from corn starch. Honest to God!

Bags easily entertain cats, and when living in poverty, they can be used as a bathing suit. I use them at work for their functional and intended purpose, to hold groceries. Did you know people are sensitive when it comes to having their groceries bagged? True story. Bagging groceries even has it’s own terminology. Like customers at Starbucks, requesting “with room” or “no room”, “double” or “quad”, “skinny”, “wet” or “dry”, “light”, “venti”, “tall”, or “grande”, customers at the grocery stores ask for double, no bag, paper in plastic, double paper in triple plastic, etc. Surprisingly, the customer has a lot of demands for their food goods. Here’s a list of the things people have special requests and instructions for when placing items into bags:

1. Type: Paper, Plastic, His/Her Own Bag, or No Bag
2. Distribution of Weight
3. Number of Bags Used
4. Placement of Items in Bags

Now lets examine each one of these items in the list.

1. TYPE

There are 3 types: Plastic bags

Most people don’t care what you bag their groceries in. Plastic is basically the default. Why? It’s the most convenient (paper bags and tote bags are more tedious to fill because they don’t like to cooperate, making them more time consuming). It’s also cheaper for the store to buy, so next time your courtesy clerk or cashier does not ask you, “Paper or plastic” don’t reprimand them and tell them it’s their job to ask you. It’s not their job. Often times, employers discourage their employees from asking, “Paper or plastic” because it cost the store more money to buy paper bags. (Although on a side note, I personally am required to ask what type of bag. It's in my job description. Sure of it.)

If you didn’t know, there is actually a hierarchy of bags. If plastic was a social standing, it would be working class. It’s on the bottom of the ranking system. Why? Because plastic is bad on the environment. It degrades slowly. It has toxins in it. It’s bad news bears. I’m pretty sure the use of one plastic bag harms 2 baby dolphins and Kola Bear. (Another side note: Our bags are supposedly made out of a corn starch polymer that degrades in about three months, unlike the plastic bags that take tens of thousands of years. I did notice though that the bag says "degradable" not bio-degradable. I'm not sure but I think that is a big difference.)

Paper is middle class. Paper can be recycled. So, by requesting paper, you’re a better person. You’re saving the world, unlike those plastic folks.

Tote bags, or any bag (that’s not paper or plastic) brought in by a customer is upper class. They don’t kill Kola bears and they save the trees. They’re reusable. People who use tote bags often think they deserve a medal or a unicorn sticker, or something like a pat on the back, but they often don’t get those kind of awards. They don’t get awards at all. However, they do get to leave the store feeling like a hero.

No Bag is not actually a type of bag, but it is an option, and it is on the hierarchy scale. Nothing is being used, but the hands of the customer, so it’s a big deal. No Bag is a millionaire. And people who don’t use bags are right up there with Mother Teresa and 9/11 Firefighters.

2. Distribution of Weight

Sometimes people want their bags to be light or packed full. God forbid you, the bagger, make the mistake of not reading their mind. If a bag is too heavy, you’re insensitive. Even though 3 soup cans seems fairly light to you, obviously, it’s not. If a bag is not packed full, to the point where the bag is bound to split open from the bottom, then you are an idiot for not filling it. Just cause the bag is already filled with a 12 case of beer, and half a gallon of milk, does not mean you can’t squeeze in 7 more containers of yogurt. I love it when the customer says, "Just fill it up, no matter how heavy." It never occurs to them that they are not the only one lifting the bag."

3. Number of Bags Used

Sometimes there are special requests: Only 2 bags, or fit it all in one bag. Sometimes, items need to go in a paper bag and then inside a plastic, which may seem like a contradiction. After all, aren’t the people who request paper trying to save the environment? They want to be able to recycle it, right? But, by throwing it inside the plastic (because they need those handles), isn’t it more wasteful and worse than just asking for plastic? Yes, it is. You know how in social classes, when someone falls in onc class, such as working class, but they think they’re in another class, like middle class (because everyone claims they’re middle class)? Well, that’s what Paper in Plastic is. Paper is involved, so it appears to be in the middle on the hierarchy of bags, but it’s not. It’s on the bottom, the low bottom. It’s poverty. Those paper bags probably won’t even be recycled. They’re just gonna be used as trashcans.

4. Placement of Items in Bags

Sometimes, you (the bagger) think you know what you’re doing, but then you’re reminded of how stupid you are for not bagging certain items together, or bagging them separately. I understand canned foods should not be placed on bread. I’m aware that placing eggs at the bottom of the bag is a bad idea. And I always ask customers beforehand if they would like their Windex bagged separately from their food (some don’t mind because they want to conserve the number of bags), but why does a magazine have to go in its own bag if I’m able to sandwich it between 2 boxes of cereal? Why does a gallon of milk (or anything with handles) need to be placed in a bag? Is it really the end of the world if I stick the one and only refrigerated item, in a bag with non-refrigerated items?

Well, enough on that subject. It's amazing to me sometimes how in an eight hour day, I have nothing better to do than to think about this shit. Sigh...

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Plastic bags by the numbers

180 million

Roughly the number of plastic shopping bags distributed in San Francisco each year.

2 to 3 cents

Amount each bag costs markets, compared with anywhere from 5 to 10 cents for a biodegradable bag.

4 trillion to 5 trillion

Number of nondegradable plastic bags used worldwide annually.

430,000 gallons

Amount of oil needed to produce 100 million nondegradable plastic bags.

Source: S.F. Department of the Environment; Worldwatch Institute