Is That Fall I Smell?

So here we are again, the start of so many, new, fresh and exciting things. Should we list the oh, so very exciting things? OK you asked for it....

Here we have the NFL football season starting up. I, of course am a HUGE Minnesota Vikings fan. Is there any other team I could possibly root for? Maybe, do you think that maybe this year....gasp....should I say it aloud? Shhhhh....Superbowl?

I must say also, it is not the coolest thing, that I work every, single Sunday...do you think that maybe I could get Sunday off for religious reasons? The Church of *Skol? NFL of Latter Day Saints? Viking Church of the Holy Hail Mary Play? The Temple of the Onside Kick, The Chapel of I Can't Believe He Actually Made That? The Holy Trinity of the First Down, Touchdown, Three Point field Goal? No? Well, crap. I guess I am stuck recording it "On Demand" then.

It is also the week of the first day of school. YAY! My son is off of the couch! He is focused! (Hey a mother can dream can't she?) He has goals...Still dreaming, I know. Anyway, the Junior in high school now seems to have more priorities that the Sophomore of yesteryear. Car, Girlfriend, And hark! Can I say grades?!?! About time!

Did you know that it cost an average of about $500 per kid just to start the school year? And my kid alone is a bit more, since he wears a size 15 shoe! Price them, I bet you. UGH!

Also, my work is a little more busy since I work near the campus of the University of Oregon. The Students are slowly filing in and the parents of the freshman are coming in to stock up and shop for their "babies" starting school. They have no idea that it will never end. (Evil laugh .. .hahahahhaha!)

Well, I will leave it at that for now, more later I'm sure.

*SKOL

Was That The Finger?

So some of you might know that I am a fairly new rider of a 150cc motor scooter. Lately I've been riding it to work a lot since gas is around the same price as a small used Toyota. It gets around 95 miles to the gallon so I'm pretty pleased with it. So far I've put almost 1500 miles on it, just riding around town and once or twice out to my Mom's house in "Stickville."

I have learned a few things they don't teach you in the Motorcycle riding class that my partner in crime Sonja and I took a few years back.

When I first starting riding in town I noticed this thing I will call "The Wave".

Those of you who ride motorcycles or scooters will know exactly what I'm talking about here. Those of you who don't - will hopefully learn something.

I'm referring to that secret "wave" that oncoming bikers may or may not flash each other as they pass on the highway. Oh sure, it seems customary enough - two fellow riders politely saying "hi" to each other as they approach... but is it? Is it really that simple? Actually it's not.

I've been riding my scooter a lot like I said above and I've been paying attention. And if you think you're going to get a salutation from just any biker coming your way, then you're wrong. Believe it or not, there are some very subliminal and undocumented rules regarding this situation - and I'm going to share them with you now.

Here's how it works:

First of all, we'll need to establish some terminology to make this tutorial easier to follow.

The person initiating the wave will hereof be referred to as the "initiator". The other person will then automatically be known as the "receiver," and if he responds to the wave, will also be known as the "replier." Note that any reference to said replier assumes he is also the receiver and therefore will not also be referred to as the receiver because otherwise he would have to be known as the receiver and the replier - which just doesn't make any sense. Right? Still with me? Good.

Next, to avoid any unnecessary political or grammar faux pas, all motorcyclists from this point on will be referred to as "riders" and all persons shall be referred to in the female context, just to make it easier.

OK, now on to the tutorial...

Equity and the Odds of Engagement
The odds of receiving a wave from an oncoming biker are first and foremost governed by the "laws of equity." This means that the more things you have in common with her the better chance she will engage as either the initiator or the replier.

There are basically three categories in the laws of equity:

1. Brand equity. This means that if you both are riding the same brand of bike, the odds of a wave transaction are increased.
2. Style equity. If you both are riding the same "type" of bike, such as chopper, rocket, touring motorcycle, or a bitchin' little scooter with tiny pink flames, then your odds are increased as well.
3. Helmet equity. If you both are either wearing a bucket helmet (also known as a brain bucket...ewww) or a full face helmet - odds increased again.

To further illustrate this concept:
IF you both are riding hard tail Harleys and wearing bucket helmets, the odds of a hand gesture between the two of you are VERY high. Conversely, the odds of a full face helmeted hard tail rider waving to a bucket helmeted Suzuki rocket rider are almost next to none.

The Big Five
When a fellow biker is approaching, her left arm and hand will tell the story. Whether she is the initiator or the replier, the signals are the same. Following are the five main hand gestures you may encounter:

1. The Nothing - This is the "default" hand position of most cross-encounters. Simply leaving her left hand on the handle bar can mean anything from "not paying attention to the fact you're approaching" to "I see you but I'm not interested in exchanging a greeting" - to the harsher, "I see you but since we don't enjoy any 'equity,' I'm not going to acknowledge your existence." Of course since no words are ever exchanged to clarify, all the rider can do is simply speculate.

2. The Two-finger Flip - The most casual AND most common acknowledgement. Left hand still on the hand grip, but the index and middle fingers raised briefly. This one simply says "dude, how's it going?" Most of the time the receiver will respond just out of courtesy. Of course the whole issue of who goes first really boils down to nothing more than a game of "greeting chicken" - or whoever is in the better mood at time.

3. The Big One - This is the granddaddy of all greetings. Left hand down off of the handlebar and out to the side. Fingers may either show a "peace" sign or be spread open palm side out. Here, the initiator is sending a clear signal that she acknowledges you. Not replying to this blatant plea for hospitality may be considered rude - and could possibly be interpreted as a strong message of inequity. (This is the one I've noticed most in my area.)

4. The Dis - Left hand down and resting on the thigh. This could be viewed as a request to treat the opposing party as a hostile witness - ESPECIALLY if it is moved there while you are approaching. Dating back to the days when rival motorcycle gangs roamed the streets, this signal indicated disrespect to the other rider(s) and was clearly meant as negative and often times led to confrontation. Today, however, the old cultural significance has been lost, and could simply just mean your arm is tired and resting on your leg.

5. The Geek - Left hand raised high in the air as if to say, "Hi mom!" This one is specifically reserved for the new rider, who is "SO excited to be one of the gang!" Also may be seen being used by Moped or scooter riders. Recommendation: Just don't. (I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE THAT!) Ever.

Personally, I dig it most when I get The Big One. We pass, then I watch them do a double take in my side mirror as they wonder just what they waved at.

So there they are. All the secrets behind those mysterious motorcycle hand greetings revealed (not to be confused with the standard hand "turn" signals). So the next time you approach an oncoming rider, take note. She could be sending you a very intentional message!

Or not.

beeeeeeeep.........yes, ladies and gentleman my computer was dead. D E A D. I had to poke it with a stick to make sure but that is why you have not heard from me in a while.

Thanks to my friend Tim, my computer guru extraordinaire, we are alive again and kicking....so stay tuned. There will be a new post soon. Tim is a god.