My husband is a bartender, and he understands this stuff more than I. So I asked him to help me translate stuff I overheard the other night. I thought it would make for a good laugh. I was right.
"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.
"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to end....now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
"I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
--You stuck up little -----, too good for your old friends??
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
--I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.
"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
--If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
"I don't feel well, let's go home."
(female)--You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male)--I'm horny.
"I've had like 10 beers already."
--I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?"
--I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.
"Excuse Me." (male to male)
--Get the f--- out of the way.
Any of these sound familiar? HA!