Spotting An Emotional Manipulator
Emotional manipulators get extra marks for subtlety. An emotional manipulator is smooth. You’ll have to adjust the sensitivity of your bullshit meter to escape unscathed.
What is emotional manipulation? Well, emotional manipulation is a method of using words, body language and behavior for the purposes of provoking a particular reaction, getting a desired response or to just plain ol’ screw you over. If the emotional blackmailer is any good, he’ll having you offering to bend over and be screwed one more time, "anything you want dear."
Lets talk about how an emotional manipulator works and how to recognize the game, (because it very much is a game) so you can reset that bullshit meter and safeguard against possible attack.
There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: "I am really angry that you forgot my birthday". Response - "It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you are hearing the words, you get the creeped out sensation that they really do not mean that they are sorry at all -- but since they’ve said the words, you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that, or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is.
Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.
More to come...