Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Selfish Monster

The only time we're nice on the road is if an ambulance has to get through. Suddenly everyone cooperates. People you've been cursing at and giving the finder to are suddenly your good friends. You put away your differences, and peace and harmony prevail as you clear a path for your neighbors in need.

Then it's a mad rush for the Ambulance Wake. Everyone wants to get behind that ambulance. "I saw it first, buddy. I pulled over first so I should be the one to go ahead of you--that's how it works."

It's the Selfish Monster.

Ever been stuck behind as accident, and when you finally see the wreckage, you're actually happy? "Here we go. Here's the problem. Things should pick up now, soon as we pass this carnage."

And then when you tell your friends later, it's all about you.

"Sorry I'm late, some guy's car exploded. Right in front of me. Can you believe my luck? I lost a good fifteen minutes."

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