Saturday, January 06, 2007

Does Lazy Define a Person? Part I

Sometimes my husband notices he is sitting on something uncomfortable. He doesn't care. Like a stack of mail or something? Doesn't bother him. At least not enough to move.

He's a big fan of sitting.

He'll watch a show he's not enjoying for 20,40 minutes because he doesn't feel like looking for the remote control. Forget about actually getting up to physically change the channel itself--that stopped years ago.

Once we were watching TV and couldn't find the remote control. ( I should preface this by saying he was really, really tired.)

Now he admitted later that he sensed that he was sitting on something hard that may very well have been the remote control, but he didn't have the energy to get up and confirm. (How sad is that? He didn't even have the drive to lean to one side. Even if just to dislodge an irritating piece of hardware from his person. Couldn't do it.)

Finally I forcibly shove him to one side and we find not only the remote but a pair of scissors, a glove I had been looking all over for and a tangerine.

I realize that my husband is either (A) really, really remarkably lazy, or (B) he has no sensory receptors in his left buttock. Either way, it might be a problem.

And once again, this type of behavior is perfectly fine--unless you live with another human being. By yourself, who are you bothering? No one. In fact, it could even be an attribute. Nothing bothers you. But put someone else in the picture--now you're bothering them.

"Have you seen my new magazine?"
"You didn't see it? It was right there, on the couch."
"I didn't see it."
"Are you sitting on it?"
"Get up."
"Just for a second."
He gets up.
"Ha! I told you you were sitting on it."
"Well, look at that. . .Hey, when did we buy tangerines?"

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