Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Always Teaching, Always Learning

With someone you love, food becomes politics.

We're in a restaurant and my husband is about to eat a big fried piece of something crusty, and I, very discreetly, give him the "Do you really want to eat that, it's going to give you gas?" look. He get a thoughtful look on his face and he passes on the fried thing.

Later--during the same meal, I ordered some Chocolate Sticky Pie of Death or something along those lines, and he, in what he thinks is a most loving tone, steps into the ring with "Sweetie, are you going to be upset later if you eat that?"

I looked at him for a long time, told the waiter to go away, and flung one of those really big spoons at his throat. (Although he says I am no longer permitted to lovingly, playfully fling things at him in "mock anger" since my aim has become more true. Sigh.)

He says, "Hey! You said the same thing to me."

I say, "Yeah, because you don't mind."

"Right, because you said it out of love, and concern."

"That's right." I say.

"So, if I say the same thing to you, wouldn't you naturally assume that I--"

"It's different." I interrupt."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I mind." Men. Will they ever get a clue?

You see how it works? There are different rules for each of you. But sorry for men, but they don't know what they are until they've broken them.

We were out for dinner and I witnessed something amusing to me at the next table. A couple were out on a date. The food comes, he grabs the pepper thing, shakes it all over his food, then starts eating.

Then he notices he's getting the look. He's done something wrong. He looks up. "What?

She skips the specifics and gets straight to the general. Very sweetly she says, "Let me make it easy for you: If you ever have something, anything at all, please see if I'd like some."

He says, "Did you want pepper?"

She goes, "No, but I might."

"But you didn't actually want--"

"It would just be nice of you to think of me." she says.

"Okay, I understand that, but just to clarify about the pepper--you don't want any."

"No, thanks." she said very politely.

"You are not interested in pepper?"

"Not this time."

See? We are just setting the rules for next time.

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