Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Facebook Is My Own Personal Crack

I was randomly looking at my blog when it occurred to me that I had not written in quite a while.  So, in the tradition of my 19 year old son, I have came up with a list of shit I was doing instead of writing in this blog.  (The tradition being procrastination and excuses, in case you didn't pick up on that.)

Official List of My Excuses For Not Writing--I Blame:

  1. Facebook.  I completely and totally, almost fully blame Facebook.  Specifically the game called "Cafe' World."  That shit is like crack. (This is where I was going to beg for Cafe' buddies, but I thought it would be crass.)
  2. Laundry.  The never ending pile.  
  3. Geriatric cat, Werther P. Smaug who seems to be continually shooting liquid-fun-in-a-cat anywhere he damn well wants to.
  4. Facebook.  I told you.
  5. Walking the dogs in between durations of rain, hail & wind storms.
  6. Wondering why the Man-Boy is suddenly doing chores when not asked.
  7. Spying on said Man-Boy looking for weird differences that might prove that he is actually an alien that switched with the real Man-Boy when I wasn't looking.
  8. Laundry.
  9. Fucking cat.
  10. Being the only one who EVER cleans the bathroom or the laundry room (cat boxes) or anything for that matter.
  11. It's Fall, so I am in baking mode.  Made cake, cupcakes, zuchinni bread, butterfly cake, etc.
  12. I started doing my landscaping thing again.  Concentrating on seasonal wants.  So needless to say, but I am going to anyway; I am raking a lot.  I don't use blowers since I am trying to be the "green" one that makes the leaves go away instead of the loud fucker at 8 am that doesn't speak English.  Sorry, not PC enough? My bad.
  13. Cafe' World catering challenges.  Bunch. Of. Fuckers.  They have got to know it is way too addicting!
  14. All the new Fall shows.  I must also equally blame Comcast On Demand, and the DVR thingie.  I go to sleep early while all "my shows" record.  (I feel so old by the way saying "my show".  It reminds me of my mom [sorry, Mom] when she wants to get off the phone. "Sorry, Kimberly but I gotta go. My show's on." Sigh . . .)  Then I watch them the next day while folding laundry and wiping up cat-butt spew.
  15. Laziness.  
  16. Very good books.  I've been reading a few lately.  Um, The Shack by W.M Paul Young.  Awesome by the way.  Read that one if you want to just feel good and cry a lot about feeling good.  And Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.  It's a memoir (I've been strangely into those lately) that is horrifying (as in "Are you kidding me?  He did what?!?!" OMG) and hilarious at the same time.  Also just finished the autobiography of Sharon Osbourne.  She is one tough chickie. 
  17. MS blows big-time, hairy , chunks sometimes.  It's a bitch to physically type when a person can't feel half of their left hand or not be able to see completely out of both their eyes.  I feel kind of like Michael J. Fox with an eyepatch.  Pretty screwed, ya know?
  18. Facebook.  Specifically "Family Feud".  Again, the Facebook crack/game dealers have found another good one.  Along with Bejeweled Blitz.  Can I get a witness people!?!?!
  19. Burning illegally in the barrel in my backyard.  I had to get rid of the debris my Man-Boy accumulated in his latest spurt of irregular, alien-like activity; he whacked down most of the blackberries that were threatening to swallow the yard. Burning also involved throwing a lid on it every 15 minutes or so and running in side (and I use the term "running" very loosely) when Mother Nature decided to throw some hail and nasty rain down.
  20. And last but not least:  I frankly have no life at the moment so I really did not have much to write about as you can see by above.


  1. lol thats too funny...i need to make a list of why i don't do things.....

  2. Mine is Farmville and you are right it definately is like crack, the thing I love the most about my addiction is the way it illustrates to everyone I have ever met in my life just how wrong they were and how sad I actually am!

    Unfortunately not on Cafeworld sorry otherwise I would send you stuff but I just can't take the risk....... sorry! (p.s can you send me some Farmville shit?....)

  3. OMG! You are so funny! This is priceless. I'm sitting here drinking my coffee just thinking wow, this list tweaked ever-so slightly, say, dog-spew instead of the cats (I'm allergic) and a few others would be me! Facebook addict I am along with Twitter, here and a few others, but Cafe World and all those other games are the worse. WTF, they knew!!! Its such a bitch being addicted to the computer but at least its not true crack!