Facebook Is My Own Personal Crack

I was randomly looking at my blog when it occurred to me that I had not written in quite a while.  So, in the tradition of my 19 year old son, I have came up with a list of shit I was doing instead of writing in this blog.  (The tradition being procrastination and excuses, in case you didn't pick up on that.)

Official List of My Excuses For Not Writing--I Blame:

1. Facebook.  I completely and totally, almost fully blame Facebook.  Specifically the game called "Cafe' World."  That shit is like crack. (This is where I was going to beg for Cafe' buddies, but I thought it would be crass.)
2. Laundry.  The never ending pile.  
3. Geriatric cat, Werther P. Smaug who seems to be continually shooting liquid-fun-in-a-cat anywhere he damn well wants to.
4. Facebook.  I told you.
5. Walking the dogs in between durations of rain, hail & wind storms.
6. Wondering why the Man-Boy is suddenly doing chores when not asked.
7. Spying on said Man-Boy looking for weird differences that might prove that he is actually an alien that switched with the real Man-Boy when I wasn't looking.
8. Laundry.
9. Fucking cat.
10. Being the only one who EVER cleans the bathroom or the laundry room (cat boxes) or anything for that matter.
11. It's Fall, so I am in baking mode.  Made cake, cupcakes, zuchinni bread, butterfly cake, etc.
12. I started doing my landscaping thing again.  Concentrating on seasonal wants.  So needless to say, but I am going to anyway; I am raking a lot.  I don't use blowers since I am trying to be the "green" one that makes the leaves go away instead of the loud fucker at 8 am that doesn't speak English.  Sorry, not PC enough? My bad.
13. Cafe' World catering challenges.  Bunch. Of. Fuckers.  They have got to know it is way too addicting!
14. All the new Fall shows.  I must also equally blame Comcast On Demand, and the DVR thingie.  I go to sleep early while all "my shows" record.  (I feel so old by the way saying "my show".  It reminds me of my mom [sorry, Mom] when she wants to get off the phone. "Sorry, Kimberly but I gotta go. My show's on." Sigh . . .)  Then I watch them the next day while folding laundry and wiping up cat-butt spew.
15. Laziness.  
16. Very good books.  I've been reading a few lately.  Um, The Shack by W.M Paul Young.  Awesome by the way.  Read that one if you want to just feel good and cry a lot about feeling good.  And Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.  It's a memoir (I've been strangely into those lately) that is horrifying (as in "Are you kidding me?  He did what?!?!" OMG) and hilarious at the same time.  Also just finished the autobiography of Sharon Osbourne.  She is one tough chickie. 
17. MS blows big-time, hairy , chunks sometimes.  It's a bitch to physically type when a person can't feel half of their left hand or not be able to see completely out of both their eyes.  I feel kind of like Michael J. Fox with an eyepatch.  Pretty screwed, ya know?
18. Facebook.  Specifically "Family Feud".  Again, the Facebook crack/game dealers have found another good one.  Along with Bejeweled Blitz.  Can I get a witness people!?!?!
19. Burning illegally in the barrel in my backyard.  I had to get rid of the debris my Man-Boy accumulated in his latest spurt of irregular, alien-like activity; he whacked down most of the blackberries that were threatening to swallow the yard. Burning also involved throwing a lid on it every 15 minutes or so and running in side (and I use the term "running" very loosely) when Mother Nature decided to throw some hail and nasty rain down.
20. And last but not least:  I frankly have no life at the moment so I really did not have much to write about as you can see by above.

NyQuil is based on lies, I tell you! Lies!

The Hubby, this week, has one mother of a head cold.  It just popped up outta nowhere two days ago.  He's the one that is sick, so why is it that I have the persevering headache?


The first night of him hacking, coughing, sneezing, roller over and over and over, blowing his nose (used up almost a whole roll of Toilet paper, NO LIE!), getting up to get something to drink, and so on left not only him, but myself as well, very tired the next day.  I don't know about him, but I felt like I was waking up from the mother of all parties but couldn't remember if it was fun or not.  Not cool man, absolutely not cool.


Something some people might not know about The Hubby is that he hates, absolutely hates taking over the counter medicine.   Shit, he hates taking any medicine.  He has not actually been to the doctor's office as a patient in the decade or so that I've know him.  Ever.  So after that first night, I begged him to take something for his cold so he could at least sleep.  Oh, and me too, I would like to sleep also, if that would be all right with him.   I told him it was ok, if he wanted to be a martyr, but he would have to do it on the couch, I was fucking tired.


On his way home from work last night he stopped and bought some NyQuil.  Boy, when he falls off the non-medicine wagon, he doesn't mess around.  This stuff claims to be "The Nightime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffyhead, Fever, So-You-Can-Rest Medicine.".  Too bad it doesn't last the normal 8 hours or so that a person might want to sleep.  Too bad that it is not the stuff it used to be, the stuff Denis Leary used to sing praises about. 


Dennis Leary - NyQuil - watch more funny videos
 
Instead, it lasts about 4 hours, then *poof* nothing. Around 3 AM, the Snot Monster awoke and I had to whine, cajole, wheedle, beg, and threaten just to get him to take some more.  He finally took some when I  played the martyr card. "It's okay," I sighed and said.  "I understand that you think OTC meds are bad for you.  I will just lay over here on my side of the bed, trying not to disturb you.  You just try and get some rest honey.  Maybe I will just take a nap sometime tomorrow."  He just kept looking at me hard, the crystallized snot on his mustache twinkling in the light of the bedside lamp, his cheeks rosy with fever.  After about a minute of him staring at me, while I looked like the proper martyr I was attempting to be (Joan of Arc could not of done a better job.) he finally stomped like a toddler into the kitchen and took the NyQuil.  Hurray!  By the time he came back into the bedroom, I was halfway to Snooze-ville.


I get why he doesn't want to do the meds thing.  I really do.  I am all for homeopathic treatment and all.  He takes a multi-vitamin every day only because I found him one that also has a bunch of herbs and shit in it too.  Yesterday he was dragging hind tit so I gave him one of Super-B vitamins that I take.  Halfway through his workday, he called me to ask, "When does my pee stop looking like Tang? Is it going to stay this way?"  Apparently he was standing at the urinal at work, when a dude that was at the next urinal, glanced down as men do but will always deny, and asked with genuine concern, "Dude, are you okay?"  Mild side affect, I told him.  Nothing to worry about.


I am praying that this cold will die a quick death.  I, myself have built a large barricade of antioxidants around myself; a wall of healthiness so to speak, to block all the phlegm and nasty mucous-i-ness that is currently floating around my home.  I walk around my house with a holster on my hips, whipping out and spraying Lysol every where I go, with a magnificent twirl of the fingers worthy enough to impress a gunslinger, a cloud of ozone-layer thinning, aerosol germ-killer aways in my wake.  

Super Congress -- Up, Up, and Awayyy . . .

Ah, Fall is upon us. So I want to know why I am still harvesting tomatoes.  And I just had a cucumber salad for lunch.  Fresh out of the garden.  And I live in zone 8.  And if you don't know what that means, ask a gardener.  This just shouldn't be happening.  Welcome to global warming folks.

People all over really need to educate themselves a bit on this subject.  It's nice that everyone is enjoying the nice weather and all, but does any average person wonder why the temperature is 10 degrees above normal for this time of year.

A reason to get yourself educated about this subject among others is so you don't embarrass yourself like this woman did when she took it upon herself to write a letter to the editor of her local paper with her concerns.  Too bad she didn't do some homework first.

I was unaware that congress had so much power that they can control the amount of daylight hours (insert eye-roll here).