YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A MAN SAY... (UNLESS THEY HAVE GAY TENDENCIES)
- I love her but she won't commit to me.
- She's an ambler, a gambler and a midnight rambler.
- We have an "open" relationship.
- She's a bad girl, but I love her because she's bad.
- I'm saving myself for her.
- She's the wind beneath my wings.
- Do these jeans make my thighs look fat?
- She looks really rugged and handsome with a beard.
- Sometimes I just like to have a good cry, and then I feel better.
- She only hit me that one time and she promised me it will never happen again.
- Why does she never phone?
- I get so embarrassed when construction workers whistle at me.
- I go wherever she goes and I'm happy.
- I have to do something about these laugh-lines around my eyes.
- Shopping cheers me up.
- Oh, no, I have cellulite.
- I got my bikini line waxed the other day... ooh, ouch!
- She has big feet so that means she must have a big sex organ.
- I carry my whole life around in my purse.
- I have to pamper my sensitive skin.
- I think we should meet and have a nice, long talk about our relationship and the direction it's headed.
- I just found a suspicious-looking lump in my breast.
- You treat me like a sex object!
- I don't brag at how well I do at my job in case it affects her low self-esteem.
- Some days, I look in the mirror and I hate myself.
- As a man, I have special dietary requirements that are different from a woman's.
- I fake orgasms all the time so she won't feel bad.
- Women are women -- they think with their dinks.
- I have nothing to wear.
- She has a fear of intimacy.
- I want to be with him forever.
- I feel used.
- I have needs.
- You're just like all the rest.
- Are you done already?
AND YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A WOMAN SAY...
- Holy Crap, look at the balls on that one!
- I used to love him but I had to kill him.
- I'm a loner and a rebel.
- Hey, I did you a favor by leaving him.
- Nice legs, shame about the face.
- Wham, bam, thank-you, sir!
- If only he didn't spoil everything by opening his mouth.
- Why does he keep phoning me all the time?
- If he wants to see me he knows where to find me.
- There's those couple a days a month when I know to just... Stay away!
- He led me on.
- There goes a piece of ass!
- He's a screamer. He's a moaner. He's easy.
- He could use a pluck job on his eyebrows.
- Stay away from him... He's an ovary-breaker!
- Nice tits.
- He wants it... You can tell.
- He's good-looking so he's probably a bastard.
- If you really loved me, you'd let me take off the condom.
- Let's live together first and see how it works out and then get married.
- Sex is sex.
- Power is an aphrodisiac -- men will be attracted to you no matter what you look like if you have power.
- He didn't mean anything to me, I swear. It's you I love, I did it just for the sex.
- Don't take the way I am personally -- it's just the way I am.
- I never hit him, I just punch a wall or something instead when I get angry.
- I love you but I'm not in love with you.
- You're too needy.
- I'm no good for you, babe.
- Go find someone worthy of you.
- I don't want to upset you more than you are already, so I thought it best to just stay away.
- Forever is a long time.
- I wear the same socks every day.
- Women have all the power.
Yes, it is strange how different we are in our way of thinking. But I guess we just have to live with it.
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