Monday, January 30, 2006

I Think I Just Got Goosed. Again.

I think I might of invented a new exercise. And I will call it: Dirty Dog Tai Chi.

I had been thinking of a way to keep fit that would not mess up my knees more then they already are. So I thought why not Tai Chi? It's low impact, and I could get a beginner DVD from without actually having to buy one. No sense adding to all the workout videos on the Goodwill shelves, ya know?

I waited anxiously for the DVD. And then when it finally came I forced myself to wait for the next morning. I did this because while doing the research on what fitness craze I wanted to begin, I noticed that all the Tai Chi dudes looked like they were wearing jammies. Now that's my kind of exercise! I thought maybe I would do better if I wore the correct gear.

So that next morning, I awoke before the guys, (as usual), did my stretches, and popped the DVD into the player. This is where it starts to get interesting.

For one thing, the instructor dude had the worst case of sunburn I have ever seen. (It was set in Hawaii.) Every time he moved the little wrinkles in his skin would turn white. Anyone who has ever had a sunburn knows that this is a bad thing. He did not look relaxed at all. I had a hard time relaxing just looking at his grimacing face.

Anyway, on to how I invented Dirty Dog Tai Chi. I have three dogs. Large dogs. One of them is incredibly stupid. Every time I tried to lift my leg to do some weird Tai Chi move, her face was in my crotch. Every time I had to bend over to do some other weird Tai Chi move, her face went back and forth from my butt, to my face. ARGH!! I got so frustrated that I ended up using all my "good Tai energy" getting her to settle down. I tried putting her in her crate, but it's hard to relax when you have a dog howling in the next room.

So, what do you think? Do you think some weirdo people would buy a Dirty Dog Tai Chi instructional video?


  1. That is pretty funny. My dogs howl a lot too - mostly when they smell a dirty diaper or Thea is getting into trouble. :)

    I would think there could be a market out there for your video. :) One never knows - it could be your big claim to fame!

  2. I think there is definitely a wide market who would love to see that...and I bet it actually burns calories, too.