Friday, July 14, 2006

Ever wonder...

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who is general failure and why is he reading my disk?

The light went out, but where did it go?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. Dumb ass.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? BWAHAHAHA!

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? (wink)

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Mmm?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?


Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer ?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Bitch.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? Hee hee.

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left. Amen.

3 comments:

  1. Ingrid1:56 AM

    This was worth the wait. Very cute.

    ReplyDelete
  2. it was nice to read them! thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:31 AM

    DAD SAID,
    I READ YOUR BLOGS EVERY WEEK,THEY REALLY BRIGHTEN MY LIFE, BESIDES,I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR, HEHEHE.
    LOVE YOU

    ReplyDelete