Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Turn Around and Say Hello to Yourself

Do you ever feel like you have several different sides to you?  You know, different parts of your personality that you show to different people?  I know that I try to "keep it real" and be true to myself, but what does that really mean?  Does it mean that I have no filter and just say everything that pops outta my mouth at any given time?  It sure used to.  And guess what?  It's not the coolest thing in the world to be like that.  The other day the hubby decided that he didn't feel like having a filter, and all I wanted to do all day was pop him in the mouth or slap him upside the head at any given moment.

I seem to have learned to ignore all the "devils" that sit on my shoulder whispering in my ear at any given moment.  I have also learned (probably with age) that sometimes it's more entertaining to sit back and watch people as if they were my own personal TV show, instead of me being the star of the show.

For instance, I was at my hubby's company Christmas party and in the past I would have been one of the people who drank too much, and danced too flamboyantly and ended up on YouTube.  Instead, I allowed others to take the limelight that used to be mine.  And guess what?  That light isn't as bright as I used to think.  I watched, and I actually didn't even think it looked all that fun.  I had more fun playing Wii Disk Golf off in the corner.  I left early, the hubby came home at 6:30 in the morning and woke up feeling like shit.  His problem of his own making.  Me, I had a good day baking and watching movies while making absolutely no effort to be quiet so he could sleep.

I use to try to get people to see things my way all of the time.  Now I don't care.  Now don't get me wrong.  I still think I am right and everyone else can screw themselves.  But I no longer think it's important to make sure everyone else thought that way too.  They can think what they want, I know that I am right, and I no longer feel the need to shove it in anyone's face anymore. Or maybe I just don't have the energy anymore, it's hard work trying to get people to see things my way.

I am no longer going to argue with someone about there actions when I think they are doing something that I deem "wrong".  First of all, who am I to judge?  Secondly, why do I care about what someone else is doing?  I do care if you are hurting yourself, but if you are going to do it anyway after knowing how I feel about it, who am I to stop you?  It's just exhausting.

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