Another Cool Thing I Found

Here is just another funny thing I found, while surfing the net today.

Either put your own criteria in (if you like to be insulted), or use the facts from the one you hate most.

The Insult Generator

Where's My Stick?!?

If I had a dollar for every person I've wanted to smack with a really big stick, and didn't; I would be so stinkin' rich by now.

Just a few of the people I would like to smack, and why:

1. Martha Stewart; she just deserves it. Anybody that can screw with other people's lives, go to jail, whine about her ankle bracelet, and how hard it is to live in her 8 million dollar prison, just deserves to be smacked with a very big stick!
2. OJ Simpson; deserves to be hit repeatedly with the aforementioned stick. A big one. We all know why.
3. President Bush; just because. There are so many reasons, I can't list them all.
4. People who cut me off in traffic; is there something wrong with their blinker? Is there some kind of law that says they absolutely need to be right in front of me at a particular time in their lives? I think not. Smack! Right upside the head.
5. My neighbor who has 10 cats; none are spayed or neutered, because they think that it is in-humane. Whatever. They (the cats that is) crap in my flowerbeds. They leave footprints on my car. They dig in my flowerbeds. They come into my yard, because they are stupid to remember that I have three dogs. I have three cats myself. Three indoor cats. I don't think anyone else should have to deal with cats that I chose to have as pets. Keep them to yourself.
6. My other neighbor who has two evil dogs; they always choose to let the dogs out into their backyard, when the kids are waiting for the school bus about five feet away. So of course the dogs bark and growl at the kids the entire time the kids are waiting for their bus. Hello? Can they not wait another five minutes to let their dogs outside? Jeez.

Anyway, I guess I am done ranting for now. I'm not sure how I got started on this, but I guess it all started when I couldn't find my stick.

Sometimes Being Hot is a Curse

Ok, so my son was out of town visiting his great grandparents. Normally I would be a bitch about it and say "no", but I started thinking that they are pretty much almost dead, so what the hell. Right?

Anyway, while he was gone, my girlfriend from California came to visit. In the past it was always "girls night out." Apparently not this time.

Every other time she comes up here to visit, I am always the last one to know. (I don't think the other girls like me, but oh well.) And the other girls always say to dress casual. Apparently casual to them is not the same as it is for me. The last few times I showed up wearing jeans, and a t-shirt that says something like "Who needs big tits when you have an ass like mine", or something along those lines. And they are wearing their cute little caprees, pretty blouses and little cute sandals that match. I am, shall we say, a little underdressed. Anyway....Not this time.

This Friday, I showed up dressed to kill. "Kill what?", you might ask? I'm not sure, but I was DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! (If I do say so myself.) So, I get to the house where we were meeting at, and....No one dressed nice at all. They didn't look like bums or anything, but come on! No effort was taken at all! So of course I was the one now "over dressed". Crap. Apparently I cannot win at this game.

So I decided just to be the "hot one" in the group. Which would of been great, except for one thing. Around ten o'clock, everyone pooped out. Except me. "Early soccer game", "early volleyball game for the kids", "I have a severely broken leg and don't want to be around drunk people". BLAH BLAH BLAH. I've heard it all.

So I ended up going out by myself, looking extremely hot, to the bar that my hubby works at. And apparently no other women wanted to take any time on themselves either, because I was pretty much the hottest chick there. I don't know if it was the crappy weather or what, but I'm taking the credit where I can.

After I got home, I looked in the full length mirror, and decided I was not so bad, for a thirty-two year old. I almost had to fend them off with a stick. Not really, but it's my fantasy anyway.