I know that this is a weird post for my regulars but I need to share. For those of you who found this site via a search engine looking for a "Pinecone Research banner link" Well here you go.
It was working as of five minutes ago. After clicking on the link above, scroll down to the article titled Pinecone Research, and there you will find a link If that one doesnt work try going directly to the Pinecone signup site here. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.
For those who want to know what I am talking about, Pinecone research is a very reputable research/survey company that pays a minimum of $5 every time you do a survery. They vary in length but usually no longer than ten minutes. Also often you get to do product research. They send you stuff to test and you keep the stuff and get paid for doing it. They pay by check via the mail, and is pretty fast. The signup links are elusive and only last a little while so finding a working link is rare. Anyway good luck.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Losing weight is hard to do...
I sometimes hate working out. My friend Sonja seems to think that everyday chores are the same thing as working out. They might be for her. But in a dazzling display of mutual support, we've learned to talk ourselves out of working out.
"Look, I don't feel like working out, you don't feel like working out--let's just skip it."
"Nobody's going to know, right?"
"It'll be our secret."
"Right, we'll just continue to look the way we do. And if anyone asks, we ran today."
The truth is nobody likes to work out. We just do it to keep up with people who look better than we do. If we would just agree to not work out--and I mean everyone, across the board--we'd be a lot happier. We could eat cupcakes and sleep late. The problem is it would only take one person in good shape to ruin it for the whole group. "Great, now we gotta look like her..." And the next morning all be back running, lifting and sweating against our will.
Weight. Some people talk like it's nothing. "I'll just lose it after the holidays. It won't be hard--I mean I've only been eating like a pig these last...What is it...3...4...20 years? I'll have some cottage cheese for lunch; I'll be fine."
We put a lot of pressure on cottage cheese. We've convinced ourselves it's a Miracle Food. If it's on your plate, you're on a diet. Doesn't matter what else is on your plate. It could be three cheeseburgers and a mountain of lard. Drop a scoop of cottage cheese on there--it's a Diet Plate.
It's the same with a peach half. Somehow it's a Diet Enforcer. "Sixteen pork patties with a piano-size pile of potatoes, and a fresh peach half." And you think, "Peach half--how bad can it be? It's obviously a special Dieter's Platter."
"Look, I don't feel like working out, you don't feel like working out--let's just skip it."
"Nobody's going to know, right?"
"It'll be our secret."
"Right, we'll just continue to look the way we do. And if anyone asks, we ran today."
The truth is nobody likes to work out. We just do it to keep up with people who look better than we do. If we would just agree to not work out--and I mean everyone, across the board--we'd be a lot happier. We could eat cupcakes and sleep late. The problem is it would only take one person in good shape to ruin it for the whole group. "Great, now we gotta look like her..." And the next morning all be back running, lifting and sweating against our will.
Weight. Some people talk like it's nothing. "I'll just lose it after the holidays. It won't be hard--I mean I've only been eating like a pig these last...What is it...3...4...20 years? I'll have some cottage cheese for lunch; I'll be fine."
We put a lot of pressure on cottage cheese. We've convinced ourselves it's a Miracle Food. If it's on your plate, you're on a diet. Doesn't matter what else is on your plate. It could be three cheeseburgers and a mountain of lard. Drop a scoop of cottage cheese on there--it's a Diet Plate.
It's the same with a peach half. Somehow it's a Diet Enforcer. "Sixteen pork patties with a piano-size pile of potatoes, and a fresh peach half." And you think, "Peach half--how bad can it be? It's obviously a special Dieter's Platter."
If you ever see cottage cheese and half a peach on a plate, for God's sake be careful. You could literally disappear. Your body mass could evaporate into thin air--so powerful are these nutritious diet items. Sheesh.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I Froze My Butt Off While He Thought About Shaving
A lot of couples shower together. It's supposed to be romantic and sensual. Truth? It's not all it's cracked up to be. Because one of you is not getting water. One of you, therefore, is not taking a shower.
Let's be honest; one of you is having a great time, it's wonderful. The other one is in the back of the shower going, "You got a sweater up there? Maybe a windbreaker? Something with a hood would be nice. I would get it, but my ass is frozen to the wall here."
Then there are people who use the shower to do everything. They shave, they brush their teeth, they do their taxes, everything.
My husband can't shave in the shower. He says it's too risky. Ever see the guys who shave with an electric razor while driving? What is that about? Are you telling me that there's no other opportunity in their day to have a razor at their throat than while doing sixty around a curve? Surely they would squeeze a moment in before breakfast. Or at least wait for a red light.
My husband says he needs to be on dry, non-moving land to shave. And even then it's not easy. He has no mirror depth perception. It's all distorted; left is right, forward is back--he can't tell where he is. You should see him try to look at the back of his head with another mirror. I don't know why it is but I have never met a man who could do this. Only women. He can never find himself. He'd be like, "Honey, something's wrong with the back of my head." And I'm trying oh so hard not to roll my eyes when I tell him, "That's not the back of your head, it's the back scrubber with the sea sponge, hanging from the shower head." I told him the best thing for him to do is to find someone who looks roughly like him, and look at the back of his head.
My husband has a mustache, but he has in the past tried to grow a beard. But as it turns out, he is not a Beard Guy. Certain guys look good in beards. He looks, at best, like he's on his way to something that may, ultimately, with a lot of work, become a beard.
His beard starts to look promising, then in four days it just gets tired and stops. People see him unshaven and ask, "Oh, what is that--three, four days?"
And he has to tell them, "Sadly no, since last summer. But thank you for caring."
And they have to ask. They see stubble and have to comment. "What, are you growing a beard?"
What if he wasn't? What if he simply forgot to shave? Now they are just criticizing his hygiene. Like if you forgot to shower they'd say, "Hey, did you mean to smell like that? Are you going for some effect or are you just woefully negligent?"
Let's be honest; one of you is having a great time, it's wonderful. The other one is in the back of the shower going, "You got a sweater up there? Maybe a windbreaker? Something with a hood would be nice. I would get it, but my ass is frozen to the wall here."
Then there are people who use the shower to do everything. They shave, they brush their teeth, they do their taxes, everything.
My husband can't shave in the shower. He says it's too risky. Ever see the guys who shave with an electric razor while driving? What is that about? Are you telling me that there's no other opportunity in their day to have a razor at their throat than while doing sixty around a curve? Surely they would squeeze a moment in before breakfast. Or at least wait for a red light.
My husband says he needs to be on dry, non-moving land to shave. And even then it's not easy. He has no mirror depth perception. It's all distorted; left is right, forward is back--he can't tell where he is. You should see him try to look at the back of his head with another mirror. I don't know why it is but I have never met a man who could do this. Only women. He can never find himself. He'd be like, "Honey, something's wrong with the back of my head." And I'm trying oh so hard not to roll my eyes when I tell him, "That's not the back of your head, it's the back scrubber with the sea sponge, hanging from the shower head." I told him the best thing for him to do is to find someone who looks roughly like him, and look at the back of his head.
My husband has a mustache, but he has in the past tried to grow a beard. But as it turns out, he is not a Beard Guy. Certain guys look good in beards. He looks, at best, like he's on his way to something that may, ultimately, with a lot of work, become a beard.
His beard starts to look promising, then in four days it just gets tired and stops. People see him unshaven and ask, "Oh, what is that--three, four days?"
And he has to tell them, "Sadly no, since last summer. But thank you for caring."
And they have to ask. They see stubble and have to comment. "What, are you growing a beard?"
What if he wasn't? What if he simply forgot to shave? Now they are just criticizing his hygiene. Like if you forgot to shower they'd say, "Hey, did you mean to smell like that? Are you going for some effect or are you just woefully negligent?"
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