Lions And Tigers and....Bunnies?

I have been feeling a little bit of Empty Nest Syndrome since my son spends about 99% of his time with his girlfriend now. I had to alleviate it some how. I adopted a bunny. A 2lb bunny from the local humane society. Her name is Bijou and is very cool. She even will walk on a leash. Well, kinda. More like hops around, but it's still cool.

There are some weird things about rabbits that were unknown to me until recently. One of them being that bunny's do not like it when you fuck with their shit. They like to move their food dish where they like it. Don't try to move it. And if they have toys in their cage, then they don't like you touching them. I informed my husband of this before I went to work this morning.

I also asked him to put Bijou on her little leash (I showed him how) and to walk around the yard a bit with her. He called me when I got home to let me know that he was unable to do this small favor. Why? I asked.

Him: "It's crazy! I don't think bunny likes me. I went in there to get her and her food dish was in the wrong corner, so I went to put it back and she charged me! She was all gnashing teeth, and claws and shit!"

Me: "I told you not to mess with her stuff. Just reach in and pick her up the way I showed you."

Him: "She almost killed me!"

Me: "She's two pounds, babe."

Him: "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I didn't walk her. I gotta go."

Well, that's great. By the way, did I mention that the husband says that since I got a bunny, he gets a frog? He has a whole set up already. All he needs is the frog. He's been going out into the back yard for three nights now trying to catch a little Pacific Tree Frog. He hears it singing but just can't find it.



He says that if he can't find it, then he wants to get a poison dart frog. Huh? OOOkaayyy.....whatever you say honey. Good luck on the frog hunt.

Ewe Were My Bitch of the Day

Some people are just stupid bitches. There I said it, my friend Mandy would be proud.

Today we were slammed at work. And I mean slammed! I worked 8-5 today and starting at 11 am we just starting getting hit. I know it's game day for the local college and a bunch of other things going on, but jeez....did all the other stores close at once and re-route traffic to us?!?! I, alone did about $2000 more than a usual Saturday.

So the Bitch in question: Scenario is this....all six check stands have at least ten sheep (#9) waiting in line. Some with one or two things, some with several items, but everyone is being patient and polite for the most part.

I'm getting ready to ring up some things for a couple that I would say had been waiting for about ten minutes. The Bitch walks up to the front end of my check stand (where the bagger would normally stand), waves two $1 bills in one hand and a candle that we have on display in the other and says, "Just put the penny in the Red Cross jar." and turns to go.

Me: "Excuse me?"

Bitch: "I don't need my penny." Talking to me like I'm mentally challenged or something.

Me: "Ma'am, you need to get in line just like everyone else." I gestured to the 15 sheep in my line.

Bitch: "I was already in line. I paid for my stuff, now I want this." She waves the candle in front of my face just in case I didn't see it the first time.

Me: "I understand that, but you need to get back in line in order to pay."

Bitch that is thick as a brick: "I was already in line. Just take my money. It's a $1.99 in case you didn't know."

Me: "Ma'am, I am going to help these people," I gestured to the still patient couple, "if you would like to buy the candle, you're going to have to get back in line somewhere." I turned to help the other people while Thick Bitch stood there with her mouth open.

She then threw the candle down with a huff, and left. Whatever. Oh yeah....well...

SCREW EWE FOR TRYING TO CUT IN LINE!


(By the way, for those of you who think I should of just rang up her item to get her out of there, or thought I over reacted....If I had let her do it..."she only had one item", especially as busy as we were, than whose to say I shouldn't let the other sheep with just one thing do the same? do you know how many sheep come through our lines with just one case of beer, or just one case of water? I couldn't help imagining after letting her do it, the stampede that would of followed.)

I'm pooped.

Been cleaning yesterday and today. Ugh. I braved my son's room today. It was not as bad one might think, but there were some things that made me go mmmm.

• A money bag from a bank dated 1991 filled with knitting needles and crochet hooks.
• 46 plug thingies that seem to go to some kind of video game.
• 9 different controllers for several game systems.
• A t-shirt that fit him when he was five, that he wants to keep for some reason or another.
• Highlighter pens that he insisted he needed last year for school still in the package.
• #2 Pencils...same story as above.
• A very nice wood and glass chess set that I've no idea from where it came.
• Antique 22 Winchester rifle that I forgot he had.
• The $2 bills that he was keeping "Safe" for us two years ago, but forgot where he had put them.
• A Super Nintendo.
• Gross things that I closed my eyes and threw in a bag.

I'm still not done, I gave up for today. Tomorrow I am going to try to get it done even if I have to put on a HAZMAT suit and possibly be hypnotised later to block out my memory of whatever I might find. I know he's 17, but he's still my baby.