Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Favorite Fall Things

With fall finally here for most of us, we have many things to look forward to. For some it's school starting. For others it's the NFL football season. And for even more, the upcoming seasons of favorite t.v. shows. For me it's all three.

I think as of late my very favorite thing is the sound of my house, after my son leaves for the bus stop in the morning. Or I should say the lack of sound. No t.v. No shower running. No music. No shouts from down the hall, "MOM!!! Where's my other shoe?!". Just blessed silence. It's like going outside right before a storm hits. All the birds are quiet, no crickets, nothing.

The weekends are another thing. The hurrying bustle of getting my kid to his football games, getting him to do his homework, the sounds of the washer chugging, and the dryer whirring. The smell of frying bacon, or spam, or whatever is on the menu in the late morning hours. The NFL football on Sundays. This is when I rearrange my schedule, so I can watch my games as much as possible. (Although I would have liked to see them win this last Sunday.)

And this week I am looking forward to another season of Survivor. Yes, I am looking forward to it, even though for, I don't know, the 11th time, they jipped me, and I didn't get picked to go. My husband and I soooo want to be on this show. We know we would totally kick butt. And here's why:

  • My husband will eat anything. My gag reflex is minimal.
  • Although I'm not a strong swimmer, I have virtual balls of steel.
  • I know plants. I know which ones will kill me, and which ones may not taste great but will give me the nutrients I need to survive, and I would not share my knowledge with anyone, so I have an edge.
  • I am not afraid to do-do in the outdoors. (as long as I have a big stick to ward off wildlife.)
  • I am kinda-sorta- athletic. So is my hubby.
  • My husband is a great debater, and can be very sneaky.
  • My husband is a bartender, therefore everyone thinks they are his best friend. He is good at capitalizing on that.
  • We would not walk around naked. Have no desire to, plus it's been done.
  • Although I am not a super model, I have great boobies, and will show them for chocolate and peanut butter, or any other food if I was starving. Hell, my husband would show everything, if you offered him one single Hershey's Kiss if he was starving.
  • I'm a sneaky bitch. Everyone will think I am the coolest chick ever, then when they are least expecting it, BAM! I stab them in the back, and they are not even sure if I really did what they think I did or not.

There are so many reasons why we need to get on that show. But one of my biggest down falls is that I do not do well in the heat. I think I will probably try a lot harder to get on the show, if I thought they were going someplace in the real woods. Like Alaska, or Canada, or the Pacific Northwest. But alas, I doubt that will ever happen. You can't show bikini clad bimbos in the woods when it's 30 degrees outside. That, I think is part of the reason. Except, if they would just think about it, it could happen. They could pick a spot in the high Cascades, in the summer. We have high mountain lakes. It can get pretty warm up there. And the lakes are ice cold. If they would just think about the nipple factor, the ratings would go sky high.

Anyway, enjoy these days of fall, while I do all the things I like to do. Not to mention, plotting my way into next years Survivor show. Who knows, maybe next year it could be "Survivor: Oregon".

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