I don't feel like writing anything whitty or amusing today, so here is some alternative amusement for you:
"Because, you know, there's one thing you don't want. It's a woman with her finger on the button who isn't getting laid."
-- Laine Hanson (played by Joan Allen in The Contender)
"I'd rather be despised for my character, than liked for my lack of it."
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
-- Maya Angelou
"People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me."
-- Princess Diana
"My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it's very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do. "
-- Ani DiFranco
"What happened to the feminist revolution? We thought we could have it all, but instead we ended up DOING it all."
-- Helen S.
"People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent."
-- Bob Dylan
"Couldn't, wouldn't, mustn't, shouldn't - these are the laments of the spineless. I can and I will, but not because I must or I should!"
"Olivia’s theory was that you could divide women into two types: those who were on the Girls’ Team, and Undercover Bitches. If a woman was on the Girls’ Team, she could be as beautiful, intelligent, rich, famous, sexy, successful and as popular as fuck, and you’d still like her. Women on the Girls’ Team had solidarity. They were conspiratorial and brought all their fuck-ups to the table for everyone to enjoy. Undercover Bitches were competitive: they showed off, tried to put others down to make themselves look good, lacked humour and a sense of their own ridiculousness, said things which sounded okay on the surface but were actually designed to make you feel really bad, couldn’t bear it when they weren’t getting enough attention, and they flicked their hair. Men didn’t get all this. They thought women took against each other because they were jealous. Quite tragic, really."
-- Helen Fielding, Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination
"Parroting your spouse and agreeing with everything he/she says is no substitute for, nor is it the same as having a spine of your own. And remember, spines DO bend and move. They aren't rigid. Don't confuse having an iron rod stuck up your ass with having a spine."
-- Liana Trement
"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV."
-- Tracy Smith
"If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot."
-- Donna Gephart ("The Wicked Little Book of Quotes")
"Never Grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be"
-- Cynthia Paddleford
"Now, now. That eye squinting could be a make-shift beer goggle effect. If he squints his eyes, you might, just might, resemble something less ugly than you are."
"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn't rain."
-- Mae West
"If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you can't tell it about other people."
"Slapping might work with TVs and other simple mechanical devices, but if I beat you until you were too ugly for radio, the only thing I'd get is bruised knuckles. You wouldn't be ANY smarter."
"... when author Margaret Atwood polled men about what they fear most from women, the men replied, "That they'll laugh at us." If that doesn't make it crystal clear what our strategy should be toward the patriarchs, frankly, I don't know what does."
-- Susan Jane Gilman from "Kiss My Tiara"